Planning a Destination Wedding: The Months Before
continued . . .

by Robin C. Bonner

Challenges Ahead
Sunday morning, we asked our hosts at the Manor House about other transportation on the island. They gave us a list of bus companies to contact after we arrived home. They also offered “test chairs” to take out to the wedding site (if we had only talked to them sooner!), although we had to decline because of our schedule. We said goodbye and headed off the island—Amie, Todd, and the Wesleys to the airport in Bangor, and Gary and I on our long trek back to Philadelphia.

Once home, we were on the phone with Amie right away. We decided to release the wedding planner from her contract. There seemed to be a lot of miscommunication about what we needed and what she would provide, which made us nervous as the time grew shorter. Although we lost some money on the deal, we thought it was better to face all the problems up front and do our own work to solve them.

After investigating the bus issue, Amie lined up school buses. They wouldn’t need a commercial license and would be relatively inexpensive ($500). They could also be canceled the day of the wedding with no money lost, if inclement weather forced us to move the wedding ceremony to the Asticou. (That was our backup plan: The Asticou offered a room overlooking the harbor that would be perfect for Plan B. Local churches we had inquired about didn’t want to have a backup role, so we hadn’t booked one.)

With the bus and wedding planner issues out of the way, Amie called the park service about the chairs. It was true that 75 chairs were not permitted on the rocks (they would allow up to 30). So, we were torn between just going ahead and bringing them in anyway, and hoping the park personnel wouldn’t notice, or following the rules and maybe getting cushions instead. I just couldn’t picture 75 people seated on the ground. The service itself wouldn’t be too long, so maybe everyone could just stand. However, would shorter people be able to have an adequate view of the ceremony? Then again, the guests could just climb around and stand wherever they wanted. We’d leave it up to them . . .

After deciding to follow national park rules, Amie submitted a formal application to use the park for the wedding ceremony and moved on to the invitations. She was ordering them online, which made me uneasy (would they be of good quality? would the company deliver?), but the company, The American Wedding, promised to send a PDF proof for approval before printing them, which was reassuring. Now we just needed to make certain the wording was perfect. It took a lot of dialogue, mostly by email, but we finally agreed on everything. I suggested adding “son of Dr. & Mrs. John Wesley” after Todd’s name. We had forged a good relationship with the Wesleys in Maine, and although Gary and I were technically hosting the event, it seemed a nice touch to include them on the invitation. One of my wedding reference books related a similar situation, which put the notion in my head. By the way, those books are invaluable for ideas, so I suggest having several on hand.

Amie ordered the invitations and we approved the proofs. She and Todd had considered conventional shapes (rectangular) and designs (embossed with flowers along the edge), but the one they chose really reflected their trendy lifestyle: square, trimmed in navy blue (like their china pattern), sporting a contemporary-styled, floating silver heart in the center. It suited them. They’re a couple of engineers—and aren’t at all into “froufrou.” We waited eagerly for the printed invitations to arrive in the mail. This same week, Amie got the call from Acadia National Park.

The park would not approve her application to hold the ceremony at Monument Cove. WHAT? She had talked to people at the park office earlier, and they had been fine with it. When it came right down to the approval and the application was on their desk, however, they were going to enforce a park rule (evidently in effect for only the past two years) that applications by groups larger than 30 to use this location would not be approved. The wedding planner had told us we would be fine with 75 (which was our guess as to how many of those invited would make the trip), so she no doubt she hadn’t checked with the park service anytime recently, surely not in relation to our wedding. Unfortunately, at this point, the invitations, listing the place of the ceremony as “Monument Cove, Acadia National Park,” were already printed.

What to do? Our younger daughter Sarah suggested putting a slip of paper in each invitation with the venue change (“the ceremony has been moved to …”). No, I countered, the invitation is what stands for all posterity. It must be accurate, and so it must be changed. But to what? Amie began to consider other sites outside the park. We had completed our planning sessions in Maine, though, so we would not be able to look at the site until the week of the wedding. No way. Then an idea dawned. Why not just have the ceremony at the Asticou—make Plan B into Plan A? The inn has a lovely site on the lawn, and it supplies chairs for the guests and an arbor for the bride and groom to stand under. If the weather is undesirable, a dedicated room inside the inn serves the purpose beautifully. No change of venue and no buses. And, as a final selling point, we could see the harbor and the bay from the new site. So, the Asticou it was. Amie was philosophical about it. She and Todd could visit Monument Cove whenever they came to Maine as the “place we were almost married.” The invitations were reprinted accordingly (with an additional cost of $200).

The Bridal Shower
As summer approached, the bridal party (Maggie, Liz, and Sarah) and I talked by email about Amie’s bridal shower. I had talked Amie into coming home the first weekend of August for a family reunion. I thought that Sunday would work for the shower. We would hold it at a local restaurant and try our best to keep it a surprise. Things weren’t to go as planned, of course.

In May, Amie and Todd came home to attend a wedding, and Amie dropped the following comment: “Mom, how about we come home the first week of July, instead of August, since we get some extra time off for the Fourth?” Um, of course, that would move the shower up by a month, and we hadn’t even really begun to plan it! Further, she wanted to come home the weekend before the Fourth, but Maggie, her matron of honor, had to defend her thesis in Tennessee on July 3, so she wouldn’t be able to make it back to Pennsylvania until the following weekend. I began to make things up—I had a work-related house-warming party to attend in Baltimore that weekend, yada yada. . . . I suggested she come home on the Fourth and stay through the following weekend. She agreed but not cheerfully, as she was faced with a business trip to Fort Worth immediately afterward. Oh, well! She would understand afterward why I insisted on that arrangement.

The bridal party and I set about planning as much as as possible by email. I created invitations in the page layout program QuarkXPress (at Sarah’s request; they were modeled after party invitations I had done for her sixteenth birthday). We sealed a deal with the Bay Pony Inn (a venue Amie had considered for the reception, had the wedding been in Pennsylvania). The restaurant’s picture windows offer a lovely view of the countryside, including sprawling farms in true Pennsylvania tradition. Sarah and I picked out the menu, and we scheduled the shower for Saturday, to avoid Amie’s possible travel plans to Fort Worth on Sunday. How, though, to get Amie to the restaurant? It was decided that Sarah would meet her at the mall in the morning, with the understanding that Grandmom wanted to take “us girls” out to lunch at the Bay Pony. Everyone would get together there. This strategy seemed sensible and somewhat believable. It would have to work.

We decided on a Paris/Victorian theme, as Amie loves Paris and her dress is Victorian. Bridesmaid Liz found Eiffel Tower chocolates online, and Sarah tracked the idea to a local chocolate shop, Lore’s, arguably the best in Philadelphia and certainly a favorite of our family. Lore’s agreed to wrap two candies back to back in a cellophane bag, with curled white ribbon, and to affix on the front a label with the words, “Amie’s Bridal Shower” in gold script. On the back was a Lore’s label. Perfect. We got them back to Spring Mount the last week of June via a cooler and ice pack, and stored them in a basement refrigerator, in a bag stapled shut against inquisitive eyes.

Gary had a poster made from a photo of Amie playing dress-up in bridal garb at about age 6—Grandmom's idea. We would prop it up in our room at the Bay Pony. Liz and matron of honor Maggie planned shower “activities”—a bingo game to guess the gifts Amie would be opening, and a quiz on how well people knew Amie and Todd and their love story. I picked up “prizes”—bath crystals and candles from Rebekah’s Cupboard, in Lederach. Things were beginning to fall into place.

I enlisted the help of my amazingly creative friend Marian. Instead of a planned lunch date, we headed to party and craft stores and came up with bud vases, pink heart-shaped confetti, white gossamer ribbon for the backs of chairs. We even found a silver tiara with pink “gems” and feathers for Amie (in the kids’ party section)! Marian knew just where to get 25 roses inexpensively (Produce Junction in Phoenixville) for the vases and also for petals to strew across the table. She tried to talk me into swathing bridal tulle along the edges of the tables, but she wouldn’t be there that day, and I didn’t trust myself to make it work. I took the tulle home, but after looking at it and scratching my head several times, I returned it.

With Amie and Todd (who had been home since Wednesday) out taking a canopy tour via zip lines on Spring Mountain the day before the shower, I carefully wrote out the place cards (which Gary had picked up for me at Staples), indicating the meal choices for the servers. Phone calls were coming in from the Bay Pony, relatives, and friends, before Amie and Todd arrived, and they continued through the week. I even intercepted the UPS guy at the door. He was holding a box with an image of a bigger-than-life-size crockpot on the side of it (on four sides of it, actually). It was a challenge to get that up to the attic without Amie seeing it. (As it turned out, it came from a dear friend of mine who realized just that week that the shower was upon us.) The attic was my spot to gather all the gifts (wrapped in advance, of course) and notes about the shower, so I could just grab everything and run “the day of.” Organization and planning were essential!

On Saturday, I was frantic. Amie finally left to meet Sarah at the mall. (Sarah had worked as a cocktail waitress in Philadelphia the night before. After getting back to her apartment at 3:00 a.m., she managed to catch a 9:00 a.m. bus to King of Prussia. What a sister!) Gary and I headed out to gather up the balloons and flowers (Marian had picked up the flowers for me and stored them in a bucket of water on her porch; regrettably, she had a family reunion to go to and wasn’t able to make the shower). Gary deposited me and all the stuff—balloons, gifts, bags, poster, and more—at the Bay Pony precisely at noon. We had an hour to set up. Liz, Maggie, and Maggie’s mom, Mary Ellen, were invaluable in getting everything arranged in time. Just before 1:00 p.m., our guests began to arrive. We had a fabulous private room at the back of the restaurant. It’s actually an old Pennsylvania Railroad car. The long table for 23 (we placed Amie, with her tiara, at the head) completely filled the room. We were ready. I ordered a margarita.

At 1:20 p.m., Sarah called to say they would be there in about 15 minutes. I experimented with the camera, making sure both I and it were ready. Then the hostess walked into the room, followed by Sarah, with Amie behind. The look on Amie’s face was priceless. Naturally, she had known something was going on, but later she said she was amazed by the extent to which we had decorated and also by the people (and number) present. Ladies from every part of her life were in attendance: a grade-school teacher, a high-school teacher, Maggie’s mom, cousins, aunts, and friends. One childhood friend, Emily, drove down from Boston. A traditional event had acquired a richer, deeper dimension as the symbol of a lifetime of female mentoring and the unbreakable bonds of friendship. It was a fabulous day. The food and drink were excellent, and although Amie had too little time to open gifts, the Bay Pony staff were accommodating. They stalled guests wanting to have dinner in the Harriman car until we managed to finish (which was after 4:30 p.m.!). We trucked everything back to our house, about 5 minutes away, and continued the party with Grandmom, Aunt Karen, and Amie’s Boston friend Emily.

Details
With the shower behind us, invitations printed (and Todd doing calligraphy on the envelopes—did I mention that?), and big decisions made (as well as challenges dealt with), we are now focusing on the details. We’re finalizing flower selections. (I need to send Cottage Flowers a swatch from my newly purchased dress of dusty rose so that Laurie can create a corsage; Connie Wesley needs to do the same.) We’re forming an itinerary and task list to track all activities that must be done in Maine the week of the wedding, to make sure everyone is where he or she needs to be and everything is accomplished. Actually, creating the list is in itself no small task!

That week, we’ll be assembling favors for the reception: chocolate-covered blueberries (to be picked up from Our New England Country Store on Main Street in Bar Harbor) covered in white tulle and tied off with teal and wine ribbon. A label attached to the ribbon will read “Amie & Todd” and the date. In addition, Amie designed a centerpiece that will grace each table: three cylindrical vases of varying height, lined with teal beads and filled with water supporting floating candles. Laurie will create a floral wreath to embrace each group of vases. The vases, which have been shipped to Cottage Flowers (Laurie was nice enough to receive and hold them for us), need to be picked up and washed. A good friend of ours, Clare Frey, will assemble the centerpieces on Saturday morning, Laurie will add the floral wreaths, and the Asticou staff will light the candles just before we enter the room for dinner. We also plan to put together "welcome bags" for all out-of-town guests and drop them off them at their hotels.

The final pre-wedding flurry of activity will begin on Friday, when the guys will make a run, en masse, to the Willey’s Formal Wear, the bridal party will rehearse at 4:00 p.m., and we’ll head out to Guiness & Porcelli’s for dinner. On Saturday, after breakfast, the bridal party and moms plan to have their hair styled at the Roberto Hoskins Salon, getting back to the Asticou in plenty of time to dress and get Amie ready for the photographer. At that point, we’ll all be on the rollercoaster to the wedding itself! Not that we’re not already . . .