Real People Empty Nesting

An Interview with Marian Bellus

by Bonnie Boehme

An Empty-Nest Calling
Marian Bellus, of Levittown, PA, raised her two grown children, parenting them alone for 22 years. She has worked in the medical and nursing publishing field for almost 30 years. But, she has one other passion as well, and soon, she will finally see her dream realized: Marian is launching a second profession in the Independent Catholic Church of Antioch, as a priest. After distance learning in the Sophia Divinity School for the past four years, she plans to be ordained in the fall of 2009. Her ties to the community of Levittown span a lifetime, and she continues to reside there while commuting to her job in Philadelphia. Despite her busy schedule, Marian graciously agreed to tell us about her new profession in this empty-nest phase of life.

EN: Marian, how and when did you first realize you wanted to become a priest?

MB: The best way I can describe my call to ministry before I began seminary studies is that I sensed only an urge to be involved in a healing occupation. I had already been drawn to the study of Reiki and other nontraditional therapeutic modalities. Earlier in my life, I wanted to be a physical therapist, then a nurse. Once I became a single parent, the idea of becoming a nurse fell by the wayside, but also I felt that the traditional medical profession did not address the unseen healing powers at work in the person as a whole, including the strength of spiritual beliefs. It wasn’t until after I began my seminary studies that I began to see the priesthood as a vocation of healing, and one that might be just right for me.

My seminary studies began four years ago with my first course in the Sophia Divinity School of the Church of Antioch. At that time I didn’t have what I consider to be a call to the ministry. It was more of a call to do something new and challenging as my daughter went off to college and to study spiritual sources that would really have an effect on the depth of my own spirituality. It was when I had my first ordination (there are six ordinations before priestly ordination) that I began to understand that I was on a journey. At that ordination, it was explained how the ordinand is being set apart for the study and practice of spiritual matters. I would be growing into that role.

I believe that the grace of each ordination has had a tremendous effect on my commitment to study for the priesthood and on my spiritual growth. The image of additional channels being opened up to the grace and presence of God is a good way of describing what happens with each ordination, because that is indeed how I began to feel about the process that was happening within me. When I discovered how much I enjoyed the reading—especially how the books were truly introducing me to the mysteries that I had previously only seen superficial descriptions of—and how easily the writing came to me, I felt a desire to increase the pace of my studies. I saw, too, that much of my previous spiritual reading in years past and the spiritual growth that came from that had great value and could be incorporated into my seminary experience. The convictions that I’ve developed over the years have received further validation in the writings and experiences of other spiritual seekers.

The call to the ministry of the priesthood has been a process for me rather than a sudden epiphany. Initially, I wasn’t ready to entertain the idea of the priesthood. The changes that have occurred in me since my ordinations to Cleric, Doorkeeper, Reader, Healer, Acolyte, and Subdeacon, however, led me to consider the much greater undertaking and commitment of the priesthood. The seminary is a formation process that brings about a deeper understanding of oneself and, for me, the realization that the priesthood was seeking me. Coupling this with the fact that priests are indeed healers in many different ways, I saw that by embracing the priesthood I was answering the only call that has been with me for all of my life—the call to be a healer. With greater clarity I began to see the connections among the many tiny signposts that had brought me to my seminary studies and that those signposts weren’t random but real and purposeful guides to a specific end: the priesthood. And this is where I am today—soon to be ordained a priest, a vocation that will bring together within me as one coherent whole all the roles I have experienced in my life as mother, caregiver, healer, and compassionate woman.

EN: Can you give us an overview of the process and describe the steps and time frame involved with becoming a priest in this rite?

MB: Movement takes many forms, and in the Church of Antioch I am fortunate to be able to participate in a formal seminary experience through the Sophia Divinity School. A school without walls, this distance school allows me to study at my own pace. And because most seminarians have full-time jobs, the process usually takes several years. Each level of ordination has a course of study consisting of four to five courses. Each course in turn has required reading and usually three papers to be written, which are then evaluated by my academic mentor. The beauty of it all is that as I went along I found that I have a talent for writing, and the papers flow easily from my fingertips to the keys of my laptop. My commuting time each day to and from work (about two hours), in addition to my evenings and weekends, gives me plenty of reading time. I don’t know what other seminarians experience, but I find that my momentum increases with each ordination, and each course builds on the last, so that the knowledge gained isn’t compartmentalized but rather is broadly applicable to the entire knowledge base and spiritual growth process.

EN: You are a single mother (now an empty nester, for the most part) and need to work full time. How do you fit such an intensive process into your life? Are your two children and your family and friends supportive of your endeavor?

MB: The timing of my seminary studies was fortuitous. Having been a single parent for 18 years, I was used to my life being divided into small packets of time. When my younger child went off to college, I found it exhilarating to have the freedom to spend long periods of time reading and writing. Combined with a self-paced program of study, the “work” was and continues to be a pleasure.

Because of the way in which Roman Catholics are raised to consider their religion the “only true religion,” I cannot share the joy of my studies with all of my family and friends, although generally their responses are positive, especially those who have not been raised in the Roman tradition. The support I’ve found in some of my family and friends means a great deal to me, and I am grateful for their encouragement. I believe that for some of my family, it is a process of coming to terms with my choice, and seeing my happiness grow during the last four years is an indication to them that I haven’t “gone flaky”!

EN: What vision do you have for your particular journey as a priest?

MB: My vision of priesthood is expressed in the term vocation. Vocation is a 24-7 way of life, and that is what I believe a priest’s life is. The focus of my ministry will be healing, not just formally in the utilization of healing modalities such as counseling, the laying on of hands, and anointing, but also in seeing healing opportunities in every area of my life: work, recreation, family life, and so on. In my mind, the compassion that is meant to be the hallmark of the spiritually awake can be found in every aspect of our lives.

My desire to be a priest is also highly influenced by my love of the sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, The Eucharist, The Anointing of the Sick, Penance, Matrimony, and Holy Orders. For me the rituals encompassed by each sacrament are a way of creating a sacred space where participants can experience, if only for a few moments, a sense of timelessness and the power of our infinite capacity for love.

EN: Aside from the obvious gift of having more free time, what specifically about the empty-nest phase of life has inspired and enabled you to achieve this goal?

MB: The empty nest phase of my life is a very empowering one. Raising children was a challenge that honed many skills, such as leadership, compassion, decision-making, time management, and selflessness. Most of all, it was a testament to my ability to commit myself over the long term to something bigger than myself. Our commitments are what help to make life worth living. Because I’ve seen that I have the capacity for the long-term commitment of parenthood, I find that the “forever-ness” of being a priest isn’t daunting, but rather is exhilarating.