Planning a Destination Wedding

continued from part one

The Bridal Party
Christmas week presented the perfect time for the bridal party to get together to dress shop, as everyone would be in PA at that time. Amie chose to have a small bridal party—her sister Sarah and two high-school girlfriends, Maggie and Liz. She liked the simplicity and affordability of the Alfred Angelo designs, so she searched for bridal shops near our home that carried that line. We decided to visit Country Bride and Gent, in West Point, about 20 minutes away. Amie called ahead for an appointment and asked that several of her favorite dresses be pulled in advance for the try-on session.

Bridal party dress shopping took no more than a couple of hours. Amie wanted the girls to be happy with the dress they ultimately purchased, so she chose a broad selection. Everyone was able to agree on two dresses, which we made note of but put off ordering until Amie chose her dress. We took a swatch of the fabric with us, and the girls promised to call in their measurements when they placed the order. The plan was for Amie to choose her dress, determine which of the final two bridesmaids’ dress selections would look best with it, and give Country Bride and Gent the heads up. With the group work done, so we headed out to lunch at the Lederach Tea Room, then back to the house for more tea and goodies.

The Wedding Dress
Of course, because Amie lived in LA, it made more sense for her to shop for her wedding dress in southern CA. Fittings would be easier that way. She invited me to come out and shop with her (!), and I couldn’t turn down the offer. I booked my flights with US Airways for early February. By doing so in the fall, I was able to get a good price ($287). (Yes, a destination wedding adds some additional expenses to the budget.) Once again, Amie did all her research online. She made appointments with several salons in the area that carried the designers that she liked the most.

First, we visited a small salon in Valencia. At that point, we were on a fact-finding mission. Amie was looking at simple sheath and A-line designs, with little lace or beads. She preferred the sleeveless look but didn’t want to deal with the restrictiveness of a strapless dress or the "mermaid" cut, which is tight through the thighs, then looser around the calves. In addition, because the wedding ceremony would most likely take place outdoors, on the rocks, in October, a cathedral train would never do—so, we would have it shortened to sweep length. And, a wrap made to match the dress would protect against the elements.

I have to admit I wasn’t crazy about the dresses Amie was picking. They looked great on her, but I didn’t think they would do justice to the occasion. After all, although the ceremony was outdoors, the reception at the Asticou Inn would be fairly formal (the groomsmen would be wearing black tails), and I guess I just wanted to see Amie in something a little more sophisticated. Most of the dresses, because of their simplicity, seemed better suited for a ceremony and reception to be held on the beach. Amie, in turn, wasn’t knocked out with any of her picks, either. We noticed, though, that she and I began to pick sheath style dresses with more and more lace and beads. Maybe we were on to something. We left empty-handed but with new ideas.

Before dinner, we headed into Borders and perused the wedding planning section—how did we miss those great big planners earlier? We sat on the floor for about a half hour and read in detail about "wedding dress shopping"—all the caveats: what to look for in a dress and a salon and what to avoid (especially scams). Geez! We had been so wrapped up in the Big Picture that we weren't prepared for the Details. We bought the book Bridal Bargains Wedding Planner, by Denise and Alan Fields, and devoured what we could over cocktails and dinner.

The next day, we drove down to Costa Mesa, in Orange County, southwest of Los Angeles. Amie had made several appointments for the weekend, but Mon Amie in Costa Mesa was our favorite pick. We had a little fantasy that we would find Amie’s dream dress there. Amie is a real Francophile, you see, and of course her name and its relation to the salon speak for themselves. When she was in college, she did a summer internship near Paris. Early on, she even considered having her wedding there. We managed to talk her out of that one. Still, it would be nice to work a little Paris into her Maine wedding planning.

Mon Amie was about an hour and a half away from Amie’s house in Palmdale, but it was well worth the drive. With some quick thinking and good eyes on Amie’s part (we inadvertently left our Google map at home), we found the place without a problem. Just in case, we had headed down to the area early and grabbed a quick bite there. You can’t shop on an empty stomach, and we knew the afternoon would be grueling. We were going to need our strength!

As we walked cross the parking lot toward Mon Amie Bridal, our excitement increased palpably. This was it. We checked out the windows and the beautifully dressed mannequins. Just as we approached the door, I said to Amie, "Oh, look at that dress!" It was sleeveless, with sheath styling, and tiers and tiers of lace. In fact, the whole dress was covered in lace and sparking beads. I didn’t think Amie would like it, that she would think it to be too ornate. Amie’s reply was, "Wow, I’ll bet it costs a fortune!" She was obviously impressed, all the same. Our attendant, Megan, met up with us after a short time, and we were led to a dressing room of our own, which became our "home base." We talked about the styling we were after and our budget, then we hit the racks to find the "perfect dress."

Amie must have tried on 30 dresses. Even so, it was easy to narrow the selection down to just a handful. Then, after some hemming and hawing, there were only two contenders. One was a strapless that Amie had allowed anyway—the lace-covered design was exquisite and the lines accentuated her petite figure. The other was the lace-tiered creation we saw earlier, on the mannequin. As it turned out, it fell, miraculously, just within our budget. We really looked at everything at this point: the detail of the lace, the hem, the internal seams. We even talked to the designer’s representative, who just happened to be on site that day. We tried on veils and discussed wraps. We talked about sizing. (You usually end up trying on a different size than you would normally wear; in Amie’s case, the dress was pulled together in the back with what appeared to be large clothespins. This makes it a little difficult to see exactly how the dress will lay in places.) Then, Amie made her decision: It would be the lace-tiered dress. We clapped and hugged, and congratulated each other, ourselves, and Megan. We did it—we chose the perfect wedding dress at the perfect salon!

Megan showed us the sizing chart for the manufacturer. The alterations manager joined us and took Amie’s measurements, compared them to those on the chart, and made her recommendations for sizing. In her estimate, she itemized all possible alterations, indicating a "maximum amount," so there would be no surprises. According to wedding planning lore, some salons purposely order a much larger size, then remake it, so they can charge hefty alternations. And, the usual hourly rates for alterations are amazing. Mon Amie’s procedures, however, all appeared to be on the up and up. Our comfort level with their expertise and business ethic was high. Also (small world!) Amie told me that day that Todd’s sister had purchased her wedding dress at Mon Amie some years before, which added to our confidence in the whole process. Shortly after signing the forms and leaving a deposit (Amie would have to wait almost 6 months for the dress to come in), we headed to the South Coast Plaza Mall and indulged, appropriately enough, in celebratory croissants and heart-shaped linzer tortes at the Vie de France bakery.

Odds and Ends, and Upcoming
On the last day of my visit with Amie, we reviewed sample invitations Amie and Todd requested from The American Wedding website. They found they can order them online and wait less than three weeks for them to come in. And, they can approve final proofs online. Because we know that many friends and relatives may not make the trip to Maine, we and Todd’s parents are planning parties for the couple in our home states in the months following the wedding. In addition, we're hosting a brunch for the wedding guests at the Asticou the morning after the wedding. So, there are a number of events requiring a headcount, and thus a response. Amie and I worked on the format and wording for the invitation and response card.

With the main elements of the wedding taken care of, presently we have set about to find music. Amie booked a string quartet for the ceremony and the reception’s cocktail hour, but as of the date of this writing, she hasn’t decided on music for the reception. Several DJs are under consideration. Amie and I are still in touch by email and phone (every few days) about wedding issues, and Amie continues her correspondence with the wedding planner and vendors.

We have planned an April follow-up trip to Maine. In those few days, we’ll do some cake tasting and some serious floral decision making. We also need to pick a bad-weather backup site for the wedding ceremony. In addition, we have some ideas for homemade centerpieces that we want to try out at the Asticou. Todd and Amie will have a special session with the photographer—she wants to get to know them and to take a series of "engagement" photos. The list is long: We’ll need to decide on favors for the wedding guests and "Welcome Bags" of goodies for guests' hotel rooms. Todd's parents, Connie and John Wesley will join us on that trip. I’m sure they’ll be checking out venues for the rehearsal dinner and joining in on other adventures! Amie plans to "try out" the Roberto Hoskins Salon; she’ll get an up-do to go with her dress and see what she thinks of it. Basically, we’ll try to wrap up as many details as possible as we hit the "home stretch" to the Big Day.

Stay tuned for the next part of "Planning a Destination Wedding," which will appear in the Summer 2007 issue of Empty Nest.